Monday, April 05, 2010

Dramatic Weight Loss + Hug from Mother in Law = Panic (and a few other random things)

I learned a few rather earth shattering things this weekend......

In explanation of my title, my mother in law and I have never really gotten along.  Hubby and I have been together for 7 years and she's never really accepted me; due to that fact, we don't spend much time together.  She actually hasn't seen me since a couple months after surgery (when we celebrated our Christmas with her).  I've lost a few more pounds since then.  Upon seeing me in the kitchen, infront of everyone, on Saturday she announced in a very loud voice that I looked amazing, then gave me a hug.......and a kiss.  HUH?!

I panicked.

I'm talking, standing naked trying to shave my hoo-ha (whootananny for your Drazil) with a brand new razor, complete with leg propped up on the sink, and my dad walks in the bathroom panic.  (please note, this has not happened to me....thank gawd!  I'm quite sure we would both be scarred for life if it had.) 

TOTAL........COMPLETE.........PANIC!

She hasn't hugged/kissed me in 7 years!  Since hubby and I have been together that long, she's never hugged/kissed me!  Ever!  Not even on my wedding day.

She also complemented my hair.  I've recently dyed it purple.  It was supposed to be a dark auburn red, but turned out purple.  I liked it so I decided to stick with it for a while. 

Anywho, mother in law goes on about how she loves my purple hair.  That not everyone can pull it off, but she really thinks it looks great on me.  Especially with my short cut. 

Again, I must say......HUH?!

Total twilight zone moment.  What do you do in a situation like that?  Well, in order to not make a complete ass of myself I kinda sorta hugged her back and left it at that.  I guess you could describe it as a "man hug".  lol  You know the ones, where they awkwardly hug and pat eachother on the back?  Yup, that was me.  lol

In other news, I managed to stay away from the candy this weekend.  Fairly unscathed with one small chocolate bunny consumed.  However, I REFUSED to stay away from the steak.  Hubby is a great cook and is the only person on planet earth that can cook a steak the way I like it.  I eat my steak extremely rare, so in order to make sure it's right, I just have hubby cook it for me.  So last night we had steak, with baked yukon gold potatoes (also another favorite of mine) and cherry pie for dinner.  You bet I ate all of it.  And not in little portions.  Not pre band portions, but let's just say, I'm kinda glad I need a fill right now.  ;)  I also saved a piece of cherry pie for me to have for dessert tonight.  Can't wait for that.

So it was sort of a bad couple of days foodwise, but as BG says, this is not a diet.  I really agree with her philosophy on how she goes about this.  This is my life and the way I will be forever.  I can't deny myself things, for if I do that, when I do get the chance to eat them I will go way too far way too fast.  As I've said before, that doesn't help my relationship with food.  Which has always been unhealthy, or I wouldn't have needed a band in the first place.

I'm kind of at a funny place right now.  I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my adult life.  Does thin equal healthy?  I don't really think so.  So many people strive to be thin, thinking it equals healthy.  To me, healthy means healthy.

~Can you walk a few blocks/up a flight of stairs without getting winded
~How do your clothes fit
~Are you happy with what you see in the mirror everyday

Those things are healthy to me.  Hubby is a thick guy.  He has lots of muscle, according to the "experts" he should weigh 180.....he weighs 250 now.  Which isn't good.  He needs to drop a few pounds.  But I've seen pictures of him at 180, not good.  He looks ill at that weight.  Ideal chart weight for me is 120 (if I make it there great, if I don't that's ok too).  It's very easy for my hubby to lose weight/gain muscle.  I can actually feel his muscle under what parts of him are chubby.  Sickening, I know.

It's hard to remember as we're on this journey, working out and trying to get healthy that muscle weighs more than fat and we seem to be consumed by the number on the scale.  I'm a daily weigher.  My SWA membership plaque is firmly affixed to my wall in the bathroom so I can stare at it whilst I weigh.  I think it helps keep me accountable.  After I weigh I write it down with a dry erase marker on my bathroom mirror.  "Resetting" on fill days once a month.  Up and down a couple of pounds doesn't bother me.  It could be a ton of things, need to poop, too much water, too much salt, TOM's in town, and a million others. 

Times like this I try to focus on the NSV's, my most recent being, if I stand with my feet hip width apart my thighs don't touch. 

MY THIGHS DON'T TOUCH I SAID!!  My screaming from the virtual rooftops moment.

We're beautiful ladies.  Each and every single one of us.  Let's not be so focused on that number on the scale.  With that being said, I'm still going to weigh everyday cuz that's what works for me.  Find what works for you and hang on with both hands.  Everyone is different and this process is different for all of us. 

To any newbies that may be reading.........if someone tells you this is the easy way out, they are wrong.  Tits on a boar wrong.  This journey is hard.  And sometimes it sucks.  But most of us would do it again.  In a heartbeat.  I know I would. 

It's strange, the more I lose the more I learn about myself.  All the other times I lost weight, I didn't learn shit.  Really, I didn't.  Realistically, if I had, I wouldn't have gained it back.  I'm learning so much about myself and my new body as I lose weight.  After all those years of thinking I knew me.  *sigh*  Oh well. 

I'm so much more comfortable in my body now.  I still have a ways to go, and I know that.  I'm halfway there though.  This glass is half full baby!

Well, that's all I have for right now.  Tomorrow is hubby's birthday (36) and I need to find out what I'm going to get him.  As well as find out what type of family event I need to plan.  Have a great day everyone and happy posting.

Sorry for my randomness.  :)

8 comments:

Drazil said...

Duuddde - that scenario is so much worse than the 4 year old walking in! Great post! Little scary about the m-i-l but hey - your purple hair does rock so she's right!

Band Groupie said...

Love the MIL story. You've got me nervous for the next time I see mine. My DH still hasn't told them about the LB LOL. They're 'fat phobic' and compliment me on my WL skinny, or obese LOL. Yikes...what are we...our weight? You've really got your head together. I've got a SWA blog for tomorrow set to post

Oh, and the shorts are too cute...look at that little bum!

Amy W. said...

I think this post was wonderful! hahah, you made me laugh and then you made me so proud of you for all of this wonderful stuff that you are discovering about yourself!

Jennifer said...

This is amazing stuff Erika! The MIL stuff is amazing and scary at the same time. I think I would have done the same thing. Guy hug. LOL! :) Seriously though, if ANY MIL is complimenting purple hair (even if it is FABOOSH) she must be SERIOUSLY proud of you and happy for you. That's amazing! What did your DH think?

I love all of your randomness - great thoughts!!

Kinzie said...

Love your randomness!

Dirttrackdiva said...

as far as the odd hug from the mil, hubby told me that he could see i panicked. lol he said it did good though. took one for the team like a champ. my mama would be so proud! lol
as far as having my head together. thanx ladies. i bow to you all. remind me of this one days i don't know my ass from a hole in the ground. lol
and the purple hair.......eh....what can ya do? i know how to rock purple hair.
and to BG for saying i had a little bum, GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND!
smooches to you all.

Anonymous said...

hi sweatheart,
this will be the 2nd time i have tryed to post so we'll see what happens. ha I AM SO PROUD OF YOU IN SO MANY WAYS.... so with that said since i know the MIL to well and know she is a real B____, makes it an even funnier story. we have come so far the last 40-50 pounds are going to come off as well, for the both of us. I love you and the blog, too. talk to you later ok
love,
mom

Grace said...

Amen to all of this! Particularly, the "don't let anyone tell you this is easy" bit. Precisely why I've not told many!

Also, HELL YES to your thighs not touching! Congrats! :)

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