Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'll Sell You the Whole Seat......but You'll Only Need THE EDGE!

Mmmmmmkay.......I know in my last blog (which was yesterday) I promised some pretty crazy stuff.  Well, are you all sitting down.  Seriously, this is some crazy shit.  I'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge kinda crazy shit.  :D  Sorry.  The race fan in me takes over on occasion.  Ok, most of the time., but anyway, there are things to blog about. 

So.  Here.  We.  Go.
The first picture.....

Did anyone else know these existed?!  Toasted Cocnut Marshmallows?!  Holy crap!  I found these at Wal-Mart, if anyone is interested.  I find these new because I don't shop at Wal-Mart save for very rare occasions.  These are SO GOOD!  However, beware, eating half the bag will make you gain about two pounds overnight.  I was all jazzed up and called my mom to tell her about them, and she goes "oh yeah, those are good.  I've eaten those before."  Ok, a couple things here:  1) way to take the wind out of my sails mom; and 2) WHY THE HELL WASN'T I AWARE!?  Just kidding mom, I love you. 

Now, on to more serious stuff.  Hubby and I agreed to volunteer at a haunted hayride this year, because of our love for Halloween.  And the money collected for admission goes to the Susan G Komen, Fight for a Cure.  Getting to scare people, for breast cancer research, how can we, of all people, turn that down.  That would be like if someone said to me:  "I just had these pit passes to telladega lying around, want them?"  HELL YEAH!  Since both hubby and I have been touched by cancer in some pretty major ways, this was a total no brainer for us.

Our first weekend to volunteer was last weekend.  Well, sadly, it was also our last for the season.  Since it was a hayride atmosphere, we were out in the woods.  Well, Chris didn't think that me crawling around in the woods trying to scare people so soon after back surgery was a good idea, so I volunteered to be a "guide".  Meaning I got dressed up in costume and makeup and stayed on the trailer that was going through the woods.  I got to ride around all night basically.  Which was cool, cuz I just picked the weakest/mouthiest person in the group that was on my wagon and pretty much stared them down the whole time.  :)  Each ride was about 30 minutes long.  I was dressed up as a deranged mechanic that looked like someone beat the crap out of me and drug me through the mud.  Head first.  I also had a giant fake double barrel shotgun that chris made out of wood, and painted it to look like a real shotgun.  Every now and then I would bang it on the ground of the trailer we were riding on and scare people.  Good times.

I don't have any pictures of me all dressed up, because I didn't really get the time to take any.  Here's why.  On the first trailer that went through (the one I was the guide on) and hubby was on his way over to the trailer to do his thing.  See, we share the same love for Halloween.  He's worked at the haunted houses around town for about 14 years now. 

He barks. 

Sounds like a rabid rottweiler on crack.

And it's hot.

Anyway, moving on......he lumbered up to the trailer to do his thing.  Jumped on the back, side and front of the trailer and got his scares.  Well, when he jumped off the front of the trailer, his leg slipped.  I saw him laying on the ground and I thought it was all part of his act.  I was captivated.  Thinking he was gonna go in to convulsions and start spitting fake blood any minute.  Then, when the trailer got past him, he kinda made a grunting noise and rolled over to his side.  This is when shit started getting hairy.

I thought the trailer smashed his hand.  He was carrying an axe, in order to bang it on the sides of the trailer and scare folks.  I was turning stuff over in my head about a million miles per hour, thinking that if the trailer ran over his hand and he was holding on to the axe, his hand would be broken.  This was about halfway through the first tour.

When that tour was over and I got back to the gate, a friend of ours met me up there with a golfcart (the hayride covers about 40 acres) and told me that I needed to come with him and see what happened to Chris.  Mild panic is starting to set in at this time.  Still all the while I'm thinking he broke his hand.  Well, I get to him and he's sitting in the "makeup shed" and his pant leg is split open.  Obviously not the broken hand I was prepared for. 

The trailer actually ran over his leg.  Both tires.  On his knee.  The first tire ran over his knee, he couldn't pull his leg out, for fear of doing lots of damage.  Before he could get away the second tire was going over his foot, of the same leg.  At this point the first tire was running over his hand (which was not holding on the axe) and the second tire was running over his knee again.  The trailer was full.  Both sides, so roughly about 4,000 pounds, over his knee.  Here are some pictures of that.


This was the day after.  Saturday.  You can see the point of impact in the center, where the skin is broken.  This is actually where both wheels of the trailer ran over him.

The back of his leg.  Also taken on Saturday.


The outside of his leg.  You can barely see the bruising starting to creep around his leg at this point.
Straight on shot.  I took this on Sunday morning.  Sort of looks like a deformed tree trunk from this angle.

Chris' left leg.  This is what the other one normally looks like.  This was also taken on Sunday.

The inside of his leg.  Also taken on Sunday.

I took this one this evening.  Actually in the middle of posting this blog I told him that I wanted to take more progress pictures.  Told him to stick with me, I'd make him famous.  ;)  The bruising has spread, but he said that doesn't hurt.  I'm gonna have to take his word on that one I guess.  I know if I had a bruise that looked like that, I'm sure it would hurt like all possible hell.  But, that's just me.

Another shot of the inside of the leg taken this evening.

Chris' lower leg.  Still more bruising.

The back of his leg.  I took this one this evening also.

Another shot from the front.  I took this one this evening as well.

So, we went to the ER on Friday, and by some miracle nothing was broke, cracked or fractured then.  Thankfully he's on vacation this week.  Hell of a way to start a vacation right?  We went to the follow up appointment with the doctor today and they took him off work for another week, at least, and ordered an MRI.  The doctor wants to see if the swelling caused any type of fracture or break due to the pressure.  Which I don't think it did, cuz he's been able to put a little bit of weight on it.  If it was fractured, I don't think he'd be able to do that.  But, then again, that's why we pay the docs the big bucks.  I'll keep you all posted on that.

Something funny, the guy that does our makeup for these events is a very talented artist and does amazing makeup.  People actually thought that we had been in some type of horrific accident and I didn't know how bad I was hurt.  I had stage blood and grease all over me.  It was awesome.  Everytime someone walked into the room we were in and looked at me sitting in the chair and Chris laying on the bed, they looked around like we were from a different planet.  Good stuff.

The silver lining to all this.......

This is my "thanks for taking care of my gimpy ass all week" gift.  :)  You can't really see the pic very well, but it's black and white diamonds and there are hearts in the middle.  He said it was supposed to be for Christmas, but we weren't able to get me anything for my birthday because we had to renew the tags on the car.  Such is the life of an adult.  So he said he wanted to give it to me early. 

Well all, that's it.  God bless ya if you stuck with me.  I promised something big though.  And, in true kick ass and take names fashion like my mama taught me....I delivered! 

Three blogs in three days.  Yeah.  I rock.  Happy posting my bloggy friends.





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