Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Have You Ever Wondered What Your Kids Would Look Like?

So, I got a totally wild hair yesterday and decided to plug a pic of hubby and me into this website to see what our kids would look like. 

I used this pic of myself.
With this pic of my hubby.
So this is what my daughter is supposed to look like.
This is what my son is supposed to look like.
I emailed them to my mom, and she cried.  lol  She thought the girl was just gorgeous.  Which I thought she was too.  Strikingly gorgeous.  I think mom cried cuz I'm still on the fence on the having kids thing.  Kind of like buying the house I'm living in right now.  I want to do it, then I don't want to do it. 

Nothing else really going on.  I just thought it was cool that my kids turned out to be cuties on the internet.  Still holding steady in onederland at 197.  Nothing lost, nothing gained. 

My "boyfriend" Jake Pavelka got kicked off Dancing with the Stars last night.  :(  Made me sad.  lol  He wasn't that great of a dancer though so I guess at this point in the competiton you have to be able to dance well.  What's up with the hot guys that can't dance?!  I married one.  That seems like such a waste to me.  All that hotness and they can't dance a lick.  I don't get it. 

Had another run in with my peach of a mother in law the other day.  She called and wanted to take my hubby and me to lunch and the grocery store.  She knows that I'm between jobs right now and so she thought she'd be nice.  So I thought.  So she takes us to lunch and ignores me the whole time.  Which isn't anything new, she ignores me a lot.  I was having a bad hair day so I wore a hat, which she didn't like.  So I told her that my father in law liked the hat.  LOL  They're divorced and hate eachother.  So I thought that was a nice little dig for ignoring me. 

So she asked us what we were doing this weekend and hubby said he was going to pick up around the house and I was going to the races.  She told me that she thinks I should stay home because it would be cheaper!  Excuse me?!  I told her not to worry about it, the expenses for the race were taken care of. 

Who does that?!

Just because she took us to the grocery store does not give her complete access to my financials in my opinion.  I was so pissed!  I pretty much just ignored her the rest of the day. 

Anyway, that's all I have for right now.  Happy posting everyone.

Monday, April 26, 2010

A Couple New Pics

Here is a pic the hubby took of me today to show some progress.  And to show off my cool hat.  Another one he hates.  lol  Enjoy everyone.

This is my best Amy impression.  :)  How'd I do? 

Close up shot edited a few hours later cuz my mom said that she couldn't see my face.  So, there ya go mom.  Now you can see my face.  :)

Well, that's all I have for now.  Happy posting everyone.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Happy Sunday.....

Hay everyone, just checking in with you to let you know that I'm still alive.  My eyes are still kinda messed up.  Right now I have to have them both dialated.  Which makes for a very entertaining day, that's for sure.  lol  The dialation has actually gone down enough that I can sort of see to type. 

The main reason I'm making this post is because, it's official...................I'M A PROUD RESIDENT OF ONEDERLAND!!!  Weighed in at 197 for three days in a row now.  Usually I wait till five to make it official, but I know that TOM's on his way into town so I thought I'd "take the money and run" so to speak. 

I've been doing something totally out of character for me.  I've been tracking my food.  Don't give me too much credit, I have an app on my phone that I can plug it all in, so it's very easy.  I can even scan barcodes on stuff I buy at the store and put them in that way, so it's a piece of cake.  That's the main reason I never did it.  Too damn much work and I don't have the patience to do it.  lol  I know this.  I figured since I was weighing everday, also record that on my phone now too (there's an app for that?  lol) 

Here's what's really out of character.  I went all BG and made a spreadsheet about it.  lol  This is for eleven days and from now on I'll be doing it every 14 days.  I'll probably post it on here too, that way I have a back up incase I lose my phone.  lol

Date           Calories    Protein    Carbs      Fat        Exercise       Reason 
04/13/10    878.00       19.29        128.53    30.11
04/14/10   194.00          6.00         28.00       8.00      Two mile walk, burned 632 calories
04/15/10   1256.00       8.39       216.67     42.66                          Carbs high due to dessert
04/16/10    927.00      48.11         55.49     60.24
04/17/10    unable to eat/drink due to tightness issues
04/18/10   1549.00     52.41      121.82      95.12                         Fats high due to cheesy brats
04/19/10   1384.00    19.34       217.01      53.29                        Carbs high due to dessert
04/20/10   1249.00    27.68      147.06       66.22
04/21/10   155.00        1.71        27.97          4.45                          Not feeling well, slept a lot
04/22/10   570.00     24.00        69.00        23.00
04/23/10   936.00     25.38      113.39       41.86
04/24/10   828.00    25.37      164.12          9.84
Average   902.36   23.76      117.18        39.52

I've also been consistenly losing during the swimsuit challenge and made another list about that.  BG would be so proud of me.  lol

Week 1~03/28~202
Week 2~04/04~201
Week 3~04/11~200
Week 4~04/18~200
Week 5~04/25~197

With exception of one week I've lost each week.  The week I didn't lose I maintained.  Not a bad thing.  So, I guess it seems like tracking your food as well as your weight will help you.  This is the first time I've done that, ever.  I try to stay between 900-1300 calories per day.  In the last 11 days I only went over that twice.  Both of those I had dessert.  It happens.  I'm not going to deprive myself dessert because I don't have it very often.  Obviously, when I do the scale suffers the consequences.  Oh well.  All part of owning my choices.

It helps to record food.  Who knew?  ;P  Happy posting my friends.

Friday, April 23, 2010



I still think it's pretty damn weird that 50 people actually care what I have to say.  I know that we've all kinda said things to the same premise.  When I started this I kinda thought the only person that would read this religiously was my mom.  Thank you all for reading and being interested in what I have to say.  It means a lot, it really does.  The little community/family we've built here is amazing.  We're a sisterhood like nothing I've ever experienced.  We all get it.  We've been there or will be there at some point in our journey.  Even though most of us have never met I feel we've built lifelong friendships.

In other news, why do guys think we give two shits about football?  I like football, and I'm a Denver Broncos fan, (might lose some of my beloved followers after that one ;) but give me a little credit, I grew up in Wyoming and we don't have a team.) but make no mistake, if the Broncos were playing on one side of the street and the World of Outlaws were racing on the other side.  Psssh.  No doubts.  Peace out, I'm off to the races.  lol 

Well, the football draft was yesterday and today and my hubby has been going on and on for the last two days about stats from these guys that are getting drafted.  Size.  Record.  Weight.  Height.  How many times they poop in a day.  I.  DO.  NOT.  CARE!!!  Then he gets mad when I stop listening.  lol  I don't even try to act like I'm listening.  lol  I just go right back to whatever it was I'm doing and do the "uh huh".  You know the one ladies, the one we hate when we get it.  lol 

Then he asks me why I'm not interested.  HELLO!  We've been together 7 years folks.  It's no mystery that I prefer racing over football, or pretty much anything actually.  If I had my choice of places to be, I would almost always pick the races with my dad.  Hands down.  Put on the cleanest dirty pair of jeans I can find, throw on a hoodie and hat and I'm out the door.  Let the dirt fly!!  I think the first time I had a funnel cake without dirt on it was a couple years ago.  Seriously.  Some things just taste better with dirt on them.  lol

Anyway, I'm down a few pounds.  Was 201 on fill day last Thursday and as of today I'm down to 196.  Pretty good.  We'll see what happens though.  This is only the second day with a onederland weight.  It has to be at least five to make it official I think.  Hopefully I can hold to it till Sunday, or till TOM comes to town.  Whichever is first I guess.  I always gain when TOM's in town.  Don't we all?

Well, I guess that's it my friends.  Just wanted to give a shout out to Robin and thank her for being my 50th follower and let you guys know to check her out.  She's a bad ass paramedic, with firefighter hubby, interesting stuff folks.  I promise ya.

Happy posting my friends.


1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.
Corporate Lawyer, the class sucked.  Put me to sleep.  Or anything having to do with vomit.  Complete irrational fear of it.  Literally, if it happens around me, I break into a cold sweat.  Not good.  Hubby and I have already agreed if we have children, he has puke duty.

2. What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?
Tickets to the innagural race at Kansas Speedway for my 21st.  Look at my name people, think it would be something other than related to racing?  Sheesh.  lol

3. This is from Amy W. (I had a request to copy her question and ask it today in BYOC) (Hope that’s okay Amy!)  What do you hide behind?
Myself.  There are so many things that I think about myself that I know are crap.  I was raised by an alpha female and would like to think that I am one, but I'm not.  My mom kicks so much ass that if I'm half as strong as her when I die, I will have accomplished everything I want.  Don't think it's gonna happen, but that's what I strive for. 

4. Where were you born?

5. A little twist on this one..usually we ask – what blog spoke to you the most, stuck with you, had the most effect on you this week? This week I’m adding to that which comment may have affected you greatly? Sometimes a blog can lead to amazing comments and they deserve their own claim to fame here in this question.
I'm still catching up.  Two weeks in a row of being a bad blogger.  I had major issues with eye infections this week so I wasn't able to be on the computer cuz of the sensitivity to light.  I've been living like the Amish this week.  See my blog entitled "Ouch".  I'm better now, which is why I'm blogging now.  Don't worry all, mama pimp knew so I didn't have to work at dodging the pimp stick at the same time.  Thankfully, wouldn't be able to see it.  :)

Happy BYOC posting everyone.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Ho-ly Random-ness Bat-man

Still dealing with the stupid eye crap, and in lieu of that had trouble sleeping last night.  Here are the thoughts that were running through my head when I was trying to sleep last night....

~so glad my mom has found real restriction and is out of bandster hell, she's had a bit of a terrible time.
~thank gawd kate gosslin is off of dancing with the stars.
~jake pavelka is hawt.
~pbing cheese enchiladas and tortilla chips is really gross.
~holy shit my eye hurts.
~i wish i could do some homework, read a book, watch tv, blog........anything but lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.
~the dog and hubby snore very loudly.
~i'm sad my neighbor is moving.
~the house needs cleaned.
~nathan fillian and mike rowe should do dancing with the stars.
~wish i could box or spar cuz i could really use beating the hell out of something right now.
~race weekend is coming, YAY!
~bought some veet stuff to trim up the hoo haa, however, probably should wait till the eye gets better; one shouldn't try to shave/nair the girly bits when one can only see out of one eye, could be disasterous.
~dog needs a bath.
~and did i mention my eye hurts.
~i'm bummed that i can't go to chicago.

Well, I guess that's all.  Like the title implies, totally random, but that's what I've been thinking about.  I'm sure there's more randomness somewhere, but that's enough for now.  Happy posting everyone.

Added a few hours later:  HO-LY RESTRIC-TION BAT-MAN!!
I've heard a lot of bloggers talking about how fills take a few days, sometimes up to a week to kick in.  I'll be honest, I thought it was bunk.  Sorry ladies, but I did.  That is, untill now.  I got up at 8, just tried to eat something and pb'ed it.  Granted it was chips, which I shouldn't be eating anyway, but I digress.  Not what this is about. 

I've never really been able to do breakfast, always have been too tight for that.  But holy crap.  This is pretty cool.  Where has this doctor been the whole time I've been banded.  I could have lost half my weight by now if this guy had been around almost a year ago.  Oh well.  Not meant to be I guess.

I'm here to tell you though, the fills do take a few days to kick in.  Sorry I doubted you my friends.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Well ladies, this is titled as such for a few, I talked it over with hubby and I'm not going to be able to make the Chicago trip.  I've been out of work since Janury, and even with tripling up on the room, it's just not something we can do right now.  However, I am aware this is going to be a yearly thing, so I'm aware of it, so hopefully I can start saving for next year.  You peeps better take lots of pics and post them up here and on your Facebook pages if you have them, or I'll have Draz beat you with her pimpstick.  Let me know when the boobs shirts go on sale though cuz I'm SOOOOO buying one of those.

On another note, I have to go to the eye doctor today cuz this is what my eye looks like.......
Ouch.  It's not pink eye, even though it really looks like it.  It's called iritis and it's about 10 times worse than pink eye.  It basically means that your eye gets super irritated and infected and just generally pissed off.  A million things can cause it.  Allergies, Stress, being around people that have pink eye.  It's a genetic degenerative disease of the eye.  The only thing I got from my dad I wished he would have kept to himself.  lol  Supposed to be hiding in the dark.  No lights, no tv, no computer, no sunlight.  Basicially, I have to be Amish till this thing blows over.  lol

My only saving grace is that it's my left eye this time and I can independently close that eye.  Which is how I'm typing this post and functioning.  With one eye closed. 

Just call me pirate Garcia.  RRRRRRR!  :)

In band news, my 1cc fill seems to be doing me some wonders.  Had half of a cheese enchilada for lunch with a couple of chips.  Ahhhh, restriction is a beautiful thing.

Happy posting everyone.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Up for Grabs

I have four tickets for the Indy Car Series and the Camping World Truck Series up for grabs the first weekend in May at Kansas Speedway in Kansas City.  (May 1st and 2nd)  I'm asking face value for them, which is 46.00/ticket.  The seats are 15 & 16 rows up from the track on the aisle.  Between the start/finish line and pit road exit. 

If anyone reading this wants them, let me know.  Or if you know someone that wants them, let me know.  Whoever sends the dough first gets them.  Leave a comment or sent me a private message at if you're interested in the tickets.

BYOC # 4

1. If you ever won the lottery – what’s the very first thing you’d do?

I would give my mom and dad enough money to pay off their house, and live on so they could retire.  Then, daddy and I would rent or buy a huge motorcoach and go to every NASCAR race on the circuit.  From Daytona to Watkins baby! 

2. What is your favorite curse word? (This one is from Joey)

Probably damn.  It's pretty versitile.  Happy, sad, mad, dismayed, holy mother of gawd that guy's hot.  lol  You know, whatever happens to be the case at the time.

3. What is your favorite holiday and why?

Halloween baby!  Hubby and I pretty much go all out most of the time.  We're pretty scary people.  lol  If you're my friend on facebook, check out the pics.  If you're not, look me up.  Just do a search for dirttrackdiva (natch.  ;)) and there I will be.  I'm the only one.  Friend me, then check 'em out.  Pretty wacky.

4. What turns you on? (another suggestion from Joey)

I'm a TOTAL SUCKER for the ruggedly handsome type.  Give me a five o'clock shadow and a good pair if jeans and t shirt on a guy anyday.  And a little grease/dirt permanently engrained in the hands and I'm all over it.  No metro's for me.  lol

5. Whose blog spoke to you, stayed with you, meant the most to you, stands out to you this week and why?

I've actually been a bad blogger and havne't read any this week.  It's been a crazy/insane/sucky week on my end, but that's a totally separate post.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Fell in Love Today.....

Let me explain, because as you all know, I'm married.  (If you're a new follower, first of all, welcome.  Second of all, see my previous post about hubby's birthday, complete with pics.)

Now, on to the matter at hand.  As you all know, when I had the flu I had to have some fluid taken out of my band because I was so swolen from throwing up.  I had a little bit of it put back in, but not all of it.  I was kinda scared to since I didn't know what the whole innards situation was.  I gained a pound this month.  CRAP, CRAP, AND MORE CRAP!!!

However, I knew this was coming.  I was kinda pre band eating this week.  Hence the chinese and ice cream post.  But, with all that behind me, I figured I'd take my lumps with my new one pound gain and be done with it.

My docs office is normally VERY conservative with their fills.  Which isn't a bad thing.  Slow and steady wins the race...........and all that.  I usually go on Monday's since that's the support group day, but since there are so many new patients right now and I'm pretty easy to fill, they asked me if I would mind moving to a different day.  No big deal.


I was actually setting up in my head how I was going to explain this and lay it all out to get a .5cc fill.  You all know what I'm talking about, you've been there.  Right?  So, here I am thinking that I'm going to have to explain the whole flu thing AGAIN in order to beg for a .5cc.  Then the doc says......are you read for this........"how about you bump you up a whole 1cc?"

To which my response was......."sure, you're the doc."  He left the room to go get the fill kit and I looked at my mom and said, "I LOVE THIS GUY!"  lol

He gave me my 1cc, I drank the water, went down just fine, so I got the hell out of there before he decided that was too aggressive and and to take some of it out.  Mom got a pretty aggressive fill too, she got .5cc.  Which almost a year post-op is pretty much unheard of.

Needless to say, we boogied the hell out of dodge before anyone had a chance to change their mind.  It was a good day.

Happy posting everyone.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Hubby's Birthday Bash

Well, everything went great during hubby's birthday bash and I have a few pictures from that to share with you guys.  I love posts with tons of pictures so I thought I'd share a few of my own.  Enjoy.

Random self portrait I took yesterday.  Love the hat!  One of my besties got it for me.  And look!!!  Only one chin.  ;)  I'm not even sticking my neck out this time.  lol

Me, Mom and Daddy.

This is hubby.  The guest of honor.  And yes.....that's the closest he gets to smiling.  You should see some of our wedding pictures.  lol

This is our nephew Joe.  We call him The Joe.  lol  Don't know why, it started before he was born when we found out what his name was going to be.  It stuck.

The Joe feeding hubby goldfish crackers.

My father in law and his girlfriend LaVonne, with The Joe.

Me and The Joe.

Hubby and our other nephew Logan playing frisbee.

Well, there it is everybody.  Everything went much better than I expected.  I pretty much just let the thing earlier in the week go.  It wasn't about that.  Hubby had a good time and it was his dinner so that's all that matters.

Happy posting y'all.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Up Two Pounds......

However, I do know why.  Due to the whole two more years of school debachle (sp) last night I decided I'd had it.

I was cleaning out and washing my car when I decided, dammit I want chinese food and ice cream. 

So, that's what I did.  Last night for dinner I had egg drop soup, twice cooked pork and cold stone chocolate cake batter ice cream for dessert.  *cone of shame*  Thus today I'm up two pounds.  I'm owning it though, even wrote it down on the mirror when I weighed this morning.  See........
Note the difference in the weight from yesterday and today.  As well as the note "chinese and ice cream" underneath.  Oh well, I'm owning it. 

The bottom has kinda fallen out of my life the last couple of days.  Remember the party I was planning for the hubby that I mentioned a few posts ago?  Well it's been totally redone, not because of me.

Here's the story........we have a couple of little ones (nephews) on that side, so I made sure to pick a place they would be able to eat and be entertained.  We were orignally going to have the party at IHOP, kids like pancakes and the place is all non smoking.  A big plus since none of us are smokers and my mom is SEVERELY allergic.  Everyone was called, plans all made, then BOOM, it all blew up in my face.

A cousin calls and asks if we could have it at his place so that way the kids have a place to run around and blow off steam.  No big deal, and actually better than IHOP, I let him know there was going to be about 12 of us if everyone invited could make it, he was cool with that, so change of venue, not a big deal.  I start making the calls to everyone and letting them know of the change in plans and what I want them to bring.  Unknown that the menu was changed and I wasn't notified.  The brother in law calls and says that he's not bringing what I asked him to, and that "this isn't Subway" (meaning we're not doing it my way) were his exact words.  He notified me that we were having hamburgers and hotdogs instead.  Neither of which are things that are my favorite. 

I lost it.

Threw the phone at hubby and went outside.  This was the same day I found out about the extra two years of school.  So the day was already shit to start with.....then this.  I was done dealing with it.  This is the second time in the almost 4 years hubby and I have been married that I've planned a big Birthday bash for him (the last time didn't go well either).  It will be the last.  If all they're going to do is pull the rug out from under me.  Forget it.  Obviously they don't like the way I plan parties so if they think they're so much better at it then me.  They can do it from now on.

At least the beagle understands......
She's giving me "hugs".  Isn't she cute?

A cool NSV for today........I'm wearing a bra with a B cup size!!!!!  This is huge news for me.  I had a breast reduction a couple of years ago and the doc took 7 pounds OFF EACH SIDE!!!  For a total of 14 pounds!!!  Seriously, I was HUGE and very uncomfortable.  So to be down to a B is way cool for me.  Comfortably in a B with no spillage!!!!!  Causing me to bust (pun intended) into the happy dance.  *doing the happy dance* 

So, at least I can end this crappy post on a happy note.  Hubby's party is tomorrow, I'll post after it to let you all know how it went.  I'm a little aprehensive about it.  At least I'll have my folks there to back me up should the shit hit the fan.  And if it does who better to back me up than mom and dad?  Trust me, I've made them angry before.  NOT PRETTY!!  :)  I'm not afraid of many things, but mom upset is one of them.  She'd kick my ass.  lol  Love you mom.  :) 

Happy posting y'all.  Sorry about the long post.

Friday, April 09, 2010

BYOC Friday

1. If you could have lunch with a famous person who would it be and what would you order? (Thanks Jenny for this one)

Marishka Hargitay (Olivia Benson on Law and Order:  SVU).  She's an amazing actress and has a wonderful foundation for women who have been victims of abuse or rape.  I would probably have some sort of fish.  It's my fave.
2. Where’s the furthest place you’ve traveled to?

Daytona Beach, Florida for the 50th Daytona 500.

3. If you could describe yourself in 4 words – what would they be?

Loyal, strong, loving, and forgiving.

4. What’s one interesting thing about you we don’t know?

I have SERIOUS self esteem issues sometimes.  It's getting better since I've lost weight and have begun to feel better about myself.  Still not totally there yet.
5. Finally – whose blog spoke to you, stuck with you, stayed in your mind, resonated with you – this week – and why?

Hands down, LDSwims!  Her post about waiting on the approval really touched me.  It also showed me that she is really going to be a great bandster.  LD~you were part of the bandster family before you were approved and we all love you.  So glad you got the approval though.  Keep us posted on what goes on.  Smooches.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Frustrated and a Little Bit Sad

Damn, I'm having a rough day.  I've been a college student for a LOOOOOOONG time.  Due a few factors I couldn't control and a few of my own.  And I've also worked myself all the way through school.  Working full time and taking classes full time.  That can make it take a while to get things done. 

Started out wanting to be a lawyer, then decided I wanted to be a mommy more than I wanted to be a lawyer so I went into a different field.  Starting over in your 20's, gotta love it.  I changed my mind because law school takes a long time and I didn't want to be trying to go to school and take care of a baby at the same time.  I've sinced changed my mind and don't even know if I want kids.  But I digress. 

Now I'm in Medical Coding and Billing.  Healthcare is a career that is growing, especially in this economy and healthcare workers will always be needed because people are always getting sick or hurt.  Kind of a morbid way to look at how I wish to make my living, but oh well. 

I have 3 classes left.  THREE FREAKIN CLASSES!  So I got intouch with my local AAPC chapter in order to get involved in the healthcare community here in town and get my foot in the door.  Only to find out that I have to be AHIMA certified.  Which takes TWO YEARS!   TWO FREAKIN YEARS!!! 


I know a lot of you guys work in the healthcare industry.  Do you have any advice?  I'm considering an apprenticeship, allowing me to stay where I am when I get certified. 

I really am bothered by this.  I just want to sit down and cry.  It's also causing me to have some sort of anxiety.  I'm dizzy, shaking and just want to break down and cry like a little girl and go back to bed. 


Well, that's all I have for now.  Need to get some homework done.  That way I can enroll in my extra two year program.  *sigh*  It really sucks to be turning 30 and not having a hill of beans to show for being on this planet for 3 decades. 


Happy posting everyone.  Have a good day.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Bandster Dishes

I just wanted to share with you guys the dishes that I bought.  They're toddler size, but I know it's going to help me with my portion control.  And they're kinda cute.

A complete set.  I got them at Target if anyone is interested.  There are two bowls and three plates.  I don't think the knife will be sharp enough for me to use, but getting the set was cheaper than getting a fork and spoon separately.

And this is Dottie.  Our furbaby.  Today is her birthday, as well as hubby's.  I got her for him for his birthday a few years ago, so in order to keep track of how old she is, we make this her birthday too. 

Happy posting everyone.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Dramatic Weight Loss + Hug from Mother in Law = Panic (and a few other random things)

I learned a few rather earth shattering things this weekend......

In explanation of my title, my mother in law and I have never really gotten along.  Hubby and I have been together for 7 years and she's never really accepted me; due to that fact, we don't spend much time together.  She actually hasn't seen me since a couple months after surgery (when we celebrated our Christmas with her).  I've lost a few more pounds since then.  Upon seeing me in the kitchen, infront of everyone, on Saturday she announced in a very loud voice that I looked amazing, then gave me a hug.......and a kiss.  HUH?!

I panicked.

I'm talking, standing naked trying to shave my hoo-ha (whootananny for your Drazil) with a brand new razor, complete with leg propped up on the sink, and my dad walks in the bathroom panic.  (please note, this has not happened to me....thank gawd!  I'm quite sure we would both be scarred for life if it had.) 


She hasn't hugged/kissed me in 7 years!  Since hubby and I have been together that long, she's never hugged/kissed me!  Ever!  Not even on my wedding day.

She also complemented my hair.  I've recently dyed it purple.  It was supposed to be a dark auburn red, but turned out purple.  I liked it so I decided to stick with it for a while. 

Anywho, mother in law goes on about how she loves my purple hair.  That not everyone can pull it off, but she really thinks it looks great on me.  Especially with my short cut. 

Again, I must say......HUH?!

Total twilight zone moment.  What do you do in a situation like that?  Well, in order to not make a complete ass of myself I kinda sorta hugged her back and left it at that.  I guess you could describe it as a "man hug".  lol  You know the ones, where they awkwardly hug and pat eachother on the back?  Yup, that was me.  lol

In other news, I managed to stay away from the candy this weekend.  Fairly unscathed with one small chocolate bunny consumed.  However, I REFUSED to stay away from the steak.  Hubby is a great cook and is the only person on planet earth that can cook a steak the way I like it.  I eat my steak extremely rare, so in order to make sure it's right, I just have hubby cook it for me.  So last night we had steak, with baked yukon gold potatoes (also another favorite of mine) and cherry pie for dinner.  You bet I ate all of it.  And not in little portions.  Not pre band portions, but let's just say, I'm kinda glad I need a fill right now.  ;)  I also saved a piece of cherry pie for me to have for dessert tonight.  Can't wait for that.

So it was sort of a bad couple of days foodwise, but as BG says, this is not a diet.  I really agree with her philosophy on how she goes about this.  This is my life and the way I will be forever.  I can't deny myself things, for if I do that, when I do get the chance to eat them I will go way too far way too fast.  As I've said before, that doesn't help my relationship with food.  Which has always been unhealthy, or I wouldn't have needed a band in the first place.

I'm kind of at a funny place right now.  I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my adult life.  Does thin equal healthy?  I don't really think so.  So many people strive to be thin, thinking it equals healthy.  To me, healthy means healthy.

~Can you walk a few blocks/up a flight of stairs without getting winded
~How do your clothes fit
~Are you happy with what you see in the mirror everyday

Those things are healthy to me.  Hubby is a thick guy.  He has lots of muscle, according to the "experts" he should weigh 180.....he weighs 250 now.  Which isn't good.  He needs to drop a few pounds.  But I've seen pictures of him at 180, not good.  He looks ill at that weight.  Ideal chart weight for me is 120 (if I make it there great, if I don't that's ok too).  It's very easy for my hubby to lose weight/gain muscle.  I can actually feel his muscle under what parts of him are chubby.  Sickening, I know.

It's hard to remember as we're on this journey, working out and trying to get healthy that muscle weighs more than fat and we seem to be consumed by the number on the scale.  I'm a daily weigher.  My SWA membership plaque is firmly affixed to my wall in the bathroom so I can stare at it whilst I weigh.  I think it helps keep me accountable.  After I weigh I write it down with a dry erase marker on my bathroom mirror.  "Resetting" on fill days once a month.  Up and down a couple of pounds doesn't bother me.  It could be a ton of things, need to poop, too much water, too much salt, TOM's in town, and a million others. 

Times like this I try to focus on the NSV's, my most recent being, if I stand with my feet hip width apart my thighs don't touch. 

MY THIGHS DON'T TOUCH I SAID!!  My screaming from the virtual rooftops moment.

We're beautiful ladies.  Each and every single one of us.  Let's not be so focused on that number on the scale.  With that being said, I'm still going to weigh everyday cuz that's what works for me.  Find what works for you and hang on with both hands.  Everyone is different and this process is different for all of us. 

To any newbies that may be reading.........if someone tells you this is the easy way out, they are wrong.  Tits on a boar wrong.  This journey is hard.  And sometimes it sucks.  But most of us would do it again.  In a heartbeat.  I know I would. 

It's strange, the more I lose the more I learn about myself.  All the other times I lost weight, I didn't learn shit.  Really, I didn't.  Realistically, if I had, I wouldn't have gained it back.  I'm learning so much about myself and my new body as I lose weight.  After all those years of thinking I knew me.  *sigh*  Oh well. 

I'm so much more comfortable in my body now.  I still have a ways to go, and I know that.  I'm halfway there though.  This glass is half full baby!

Well, that's all I have for right now.  Tomorrow is hubby's birthday (36) and I need to find out what I'm going to get him.  As well as find out what type of family event I need to plan.  Have a great day everyone and happy posting.

Sorry for my randomness.  :)

Friday, April 02, 2010

Updated Pics

Well my friends, remember that pair of shorts I bought that I was so excited about and promised pics?  Well, here they are.

Front View

Back View

Side View

Opposite Side View

There I am in all my glory everyone.  Sorry the mirror is dusty, I didn't notice that till I put the pics up, but decided I'd better get them uploaded before I changed my mind.  Happy Easter everyone.  Have a great weekend.

BYOC Friday.....Gotta Love It

1. If you could be a Superhero (like Gilly) - what would you be called or what would your powers be? (Thanks Lori for this question)

I don't know what I would call myself, but my ability would be to have access to my family at any time, any where, no matter how far apart we are.  Just to be able to blink and be with them.  Nothing better.

2. Name one physical thing you love about you and one mental thing you love about you.

Physically I'd have to say my hair and my face.  I have a square face with a super sharp jawline that allows me to wear my hair very short.  Like about an inch or so long all around my head.  Not many women can pull off hair this short, much less purple hair this short.  I love it.  Mentally I'd have to say the way I trust.  When I finally get to the point I can trust someone, you're in.  You're part of my family and you get on the short list of people that I'd, literally, take a bullet for.

3. If you stood in front of God (or whatever Supreme Being you may believe in) - what question would you ask him?

I'd ask him if I could see my grandpa, and if I wasn't staying, I'd ask him to send him back to us cuz he was taken away too soon.

4. Besides yourself - who was/is your biggest enabler in your weight loss journey?

My mom.  Everyone knows the story.

5. What do you do for a living (another reader request question)?

Right now, I'm a student.  Medical Coding and Billing, three classes left.  Then I hope to work from home.

6. Whose blog hit home for you this week or whose blog made you think the most this week?

LDSwims.  She posted a great soul searching blog about carbs and the pre op diet.  As well as her thoughts on the pre op process and waiting for her surgery to be approved by the insurance.  Her strenght acually reminds me a lot of my mom.  Whom I deam one of the strongest women on planet Earth.  Keep your head up my friend.  Everything happens for a reason.  And band, or no band, you're part of our bandster family and forever will have a special place in our hearts.

Happy posting all.  See ya next week.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Work Out Slump and Missing Boxing


I feel like a bad bandster.  *does my model walk up and down the living room sporting my cone of shame*  I was doing so good at working out before I went on vacation last month.  I think it had been every day for a couple of weeks, then I went on vacation, then I was sick, then I got laid off from my job.........I guess it just boils down to that I just flat don't want to do it.  *sigh*

You would think the swimsuit challenge (specifically my starting weight) as well as my personal goal of getting into a (non-granny) swimsuit by the end of June would have given me a much needed kick in the ass.  Not so folks.  I also know that I need a fill, and I can't go back to my doc till the 28th. 

I'm not eating much differently, portion size is still the same and I'm drinking my water I just keep getting hungry/grazing.  Most days I get about 64oz.  You superwomen that get over 100oz/day, whew, I admire you so much.  I would have to set up residency in the bathroom.  No doubts about it.  On the upside, I do have a laptop, hmmmm.  100oz of water here I come.  The scale is in there too.  I'd be set, right?  Oh if it was only that easy.  *ponders setting up residency in the bathroom*

Oh, sorry, forgot I was still posting for a moment there thinking of moving into the bathroom.  :)  I know some of the hunger I'm battling is head hunger.  For some reason (9 months after banding) I really battle with this sometimes.  I'm split on this issue.  Part of me thinks I should be over all this head hungery nonsense by this time.  The part of me that wants to sit down with a bag of chips and watch Law and Order:  SVU all day is saying "GO FOR IT!"  Like the angel/devil on your shoulders.  Anyone else?

Head hunger is a very strange animal.  Kind of like our lizards (Drazil has inspired me to find mine, more on that to come later).  However, I'm sure it is my inner lizard that wants me to sit and watch tv and eat chips all day. 

I miss boxing so much as a form of working out I can't stand it.  I used to do it six days a week and now I can't even do it one.  Not solely because of my weight, which I'm sure would be a factor as to why I can't.  I have three herniated disks in my back and one in my neck and my surgeon (for my back) said no way, no how.  Last time I went to see him he said that I was doing great and looking good since being banded.  I asked him if that meant it was OK to start boxing again and he asked me if I'd lost my mind.  *sigh*  Guess that's a big fat NO!  When I do work out I do resistence band training or pilates.  Pilates though is still kinda rough on my back so I try to stick with the resistence band.  However, a Wii Fit is on my list.  I wanted one when we got the Wii, but we didn't have the extra 100 some odd bux to get that too. 

Has anyone ever noticed that when your house needs to be cleaned it effects you in a negative way?  I'm not a neat freak by ANY stretch of the imagination.  I clean about as well as I cook.  Those of you that have read all my posts or know me knows that skill is pretty much nonexistant.  Pretty much anything domestic.  I don't have a domestic bone in my body.  Never have, and probably at this age I never will.  I'm ok with that.  It's just who I am.  I pretty much wait for stuff to get out of control around the house and then it takes days/weeks to get it clean.  And it never seems to stay that way.  I guess you could say that my house looks lived in.  :)

There are times when I look at myself and don't think I've accomplished anything.  Going back to my post from a few days ago, I know that's not the case.  Guess I'm just having a pity party today.  Garcia, party of one.

Well, I guess that's all for me today.  Happy posting everyone.

Powered By Blogger