Saturday, June 12, 2010

I'm Still Alive.......and Some Other Shit

Hay everybody!  I know it's been damn near ages since I posted.  I got an email from BG today and she seemed to elude to the fact she thought I was dead.  Not dead, just kinda in a dark place right now.

First of all BG, I'd like to say thanx for the much needed kick in the ass.  I've been kinda cooking up this post for a while now, but couldn't bring myself to write it.  I don't know exactly why.  Certainly not because I didn't think I'd get the support I needed here.  That has nothing to do with it actually, but.......oh hell, I don't know. 

I officially have a date for my back surgery.  July 8th at 6:00 am.  (yes mom, that says 6:00 am)  We are officially filing for bankruptcy.  Hopefully we'll be getting all of that underway during the first week of next month.  Or it will have to wait till after surgery.

The last time that I got a fill, I had one rough day of things getting stuck and ran out of patience, therefore, I went to the ER for an unfill.  Big mistake.  I ended up getting way too much taken out and if I would have been patient I could have just dealt with it.  I'm a big advocate that if something is preventable, there's no reason to have to deal with it.  Maybe it's because I expect instant gratification.  Who knows.  Not me that's for damn sure. 

I'm noticing in a lot of blogs that there are relationship issues going on.  I'm in that boat too.  Hubby never wanted me to have this surgery anyway and was originally not even going to accompany me to the hospital when I was to have it.  In that regard he came around and ended up going.  However, sometimes I think he wishes I didn't have it.  He tries to get me to try things that I know I can't eat.  And when my band was loose I was able to eat anything I wanted.  Not good.  And he seems to think that he knows my band better than I do.  Which he doesn't.  Sometimes I wonder if it would be different if we had met after I had the surgery, or I had met someone else within the last year after surgery.  Please make no mistake, I'm not second guessing our relationship or thinking I'd settled, wished I'd married someone else, etc.  I just wish the hubby had a better bedside manner sometimes.  Which he hasn't one.  I'm very confused right now.  I knew this would change my relationship with him, but I don't know if I expected it to change EVERYTHING!  Literally everything.  I don't mean to come off as nieve here, but wow.  Just wow. 

Before I left for my fill the other day I told my hubby that I hope I hadn't gained, but would accept it if I had.  He said that the band is all a matter of portion control.  No shit?  Why didn't someone tell me this before?  Would have saved me almost $12,000.00.  Portion control, get the hell out of here.  Pfft.  If I knew what portion control was to start with, I wouldn't have needed the band in the first place.  Holy shit.  Why do people do that?  Spout off about shit they have no clue about?  Good grief. 

I'm really worried about this surgery coming up.  I asked the doc how long it would take and he said worst case scenario 8 hours, best case scenario 4 hours.  He said most of the time they last about 6 hours.  Which I'll be in the hospital for at least three dayse afterward he said.  Then it's home to rest.  Post op on July 21st to get my staples taken out, I'm sure at that time is when the rehabbing will start.  Right now there's not much else to tell about that.  Other than he's going to fix it.  Which is all I know right now.

Well, enough with the Debbie Downer, on to "some other shit".  (sorry mom)  :)

Daddy and I went to the races (shocked?  didn't think so) and they got rained out.  TOTAL BUMMER!  Here are a couple of shots of what the track looked like and what my shoes looked like after traipsing around in the pits and mud for a few minutes. 

Mud soup anyone?  :)

The following shots are from this years Relay for Life Cancer Walk.  As I told you all before, hubby and I are huge supporters of this walk and enjoy raising the money for cancer research.  He lost his Aunt and I've lost my Grandpa and an Uncle to cancer.  So it's something that's close to our hearts. 

We made a PANTLOAD of money this year.  Our team alone raised over $1,000.00, which is super cool.  Our booth was a shooting gallery, plus some stuff to purchase and raffle.  Hubby and his brother ran the shooting gallery and I ran the donations for raffles and the other stuff we were selling.  It was a nice time and is a wonderful occasion to honor those in our community we've lost to cancer or are still fighting the good fight. 

Here's a shot of our booth before the chaos started.  :)

Sherriff Woody, our unofficial shooting gallery mascot.

Memorial ink hubby got for his Aunt he lost to breast cancer last year.


The new sherriff's in town.  Who elected those guys?  There goes the neighborhood.

The shooting gallery we made.  I think every kid in the whole place came to our booth at least three times.  They had to shoot the animals down with rubber band guns.  Note the lion, tiger and bear combo in the front row.  :)  Oh my.

Hubby, my father in law and his girlfriend LaVonne taking the team lap.  Which is when we carry the banner with our team name on it so people know who we are.  Hubby and I had the banner made this year in honor of his Aunt, who was our Team Captain till we lost her last year.

On the random side, proof my dog thinks she's a person.  :)

Well, I guess that's all I have everyone.  Had to end it on a happy note.  Sorry I've been absent and that this was a downer post.  But we can't all shit gumdrops and fart rainbows.  (love ya Draz.  sorry, again mom)  If you hung in there and made it to the end of this one.  You're all amazing.  And thanx for missing me and noticing I was gone.  Promise to post again soon.

Update:  Here is a pic of my mom.  Size 10 y'all.  Isn't she cute?!  47 pounds down after being banded last year.  WAY TO GO MOM!


Michelle said...

I think life is a bit crazy for a lot of us. HEads up and keep on trucking is my motto right now... Hugs to you...

Bianca said...

Life can certainly be tough at times but you'll make it through just fine. Hang in there!

Lap Band Groupie said...

Thanks for the update GF, I missed you! Loved all the pics and tell Mom she's looking HOT...size 10's...amazing!

Life just sucks sometimes (when it rains, it pours...and all that BS)! I hope the upcoming surgery starts to turn things around for you and is the beginning of great things in your life to come. ((hugs)) -BG

Kinzie said...

Hi there. Sorry to hear you are going through so much at one time. Just get through this surgery and I am sure things will begin to turn around. Will be thinking about you!

-Grace- said...

I am praying that this surgery relieves your pain and discomfort.

I hope your hubs comes around soon. It's a shame that he can't see how much this means to you.

♥ Drazil ♥ said...

My little turkey neck diva....can you feel me hugging you and squeezing you tight? My heart is breaking for you BUT try to remember - EVERYTHING is okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. And this too, shall pass. You can get through this - you have the strength and you'll inspire us all as you do it and we'll help you. Reach out and keep blogging...sometimes you have to go through the shit to get to the roses mmkkaayy? We've all been there and in the end my wish for you is that some day you will be able to look back and see exactly why all this is happening. I wish you peace when you go to sleep each are worthy of that. Put yourself first sweetie - it's not selfish - it's just being true to your self-worth. You can do this...we all have faith in you! Be well my friend.

Anonymous said...

I have so much faith in you that on the days you are down just think of me and I will bring you back up. Plus, I know the surgery will come out great. You are finally going to be pain free. You are always in my prayers so be the strong, beautiful, and worthy person you are and things will turn for the better. AND ALWAYS remember there is a place for you at home when life/things get bad. Oh by the way thank you for the UP FEELING you gave me with the pic. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH,

DB said...

Wow- you're really going through a hard to time. Hang in there & know that you always have your bloggie frinds for support. I love what you are doing for Cancer. I lost my Mom and Aunt to that dreaded disease so I want to say THANK YOU! Your Mom looks great!!!

Bonnie said...

Glad to hear from you again. I'm sorry you have this surgery facing you. Hoping you have a quick recovery. As far as you husband, all I can say is Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

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