Diet v. Lifestyle Choice

Just to give you a heads up about this one before you read it.............this might sound like a holier-than-thou soapbox speech, but it's not. If I come off that way, I'm sorry, realistically, this is my blog, where I put my thoughs and my feelings. If you don't like it, there's the rest of the world wide web for you to explore, far be it for me to stop you.

OK, now, with that being said, let me express a few things that are different between a diet and a lifestyle choice:

Diet/Lifestyle Choice:
cheat days/no cheat days
I can have a little bread, it won't hurt me/can't have breat, it gets stuck, ouch
I can eat a few carbs, no big deal/NO CARBS

Those are just a few of the differences I've discovered since I've been banded the last few months (June 16th is my bandiversary). I am not one of those lucky people that can eat whatever I want and still lose weight. If I was, I wouldn't need the band, right? Duh, right. Anyway, without sounding like a fanatic, I have to be VERY mindful of what I put in my body. High protein all the way for me. So usually, if it doesn't go around on all fours, fly, or swim, I can't eat it. Why is this so hard for some people to understand?! If I could eat that crap I wouldn't have gotten banded in the first damn place! WTF?!

I feel sometimes like people are trying to sabotage me. Hopefully that isn't happening, but who knows. What I do know is this...........I'm in this for the long haul (whether I'm in this alone is yet to be determined) and when I get all hot and skinny and everyone around me isn't, how good are their carbs going to look then? I wonder. I know what's good for me and what's not.

Which takes me back to the subject line of this post. This is a LIFETIME thing. No cheat days, no eating stuff that I damn well know I can't. This is my life, this is a choice I made, and if I have to do this alone, dammit, I will.

Another Realization

Went out to dinner with hubby last night to one of our favorite places in town. I ordered some chips and salsa and he ordered onion rings. I also ordered chicken fingers for dinner.

There we were, munching on our chips and salsa/onion rings when my dinner shows up. There were six LARGE chicken fingers, broccoli and fries on my plate. I got three meals out of all that food. Before being banded I would have eaten all of my chips and salsa, all of my dinner and half of hubby's onion rings. And still eaten later that night.

Holy crap, no wonder I just kept gaining weight. I had given up and I knew it. I've started to notice what people around me are eating as well. For instance, someone at work today was eating a sleeve of ritz crackers and easy cheese for lunch. What the hell? Is that even real food?

I've also recently discoverd matching bra and panty sets. I was never able to wear them before.

2 Pounds........OF FOOD

My father in law took my hubby and I out to dinner tonight for our wedding anniversary. We went to IHOP. Which is all good, I know I can eat omlets. The doc said we could have pancakes too as long as we use sugar free syrup, but I got an omlete instead. Since I know I can eat that I figured it would be safer. Wouldn't want to find out the hard way that I can't eat something in public. That would be embarrassing. My irrational fear of vomit aside, still embarrassing.

So, I order and omlete since I know I can eat those. The waitress brings this omlete out to me on a PLATTER! This bohemeth also came with three pancakes and hash browns. This thing was huge. Well, since I've been banded I've taken to asking for a to go box to be brought to me with my meal so I can put half of it out of sight right off the bat, and out of mind.

I ate about 1/4 of the gigantic omlete I received, maybe not even that. Well, remember the food scale I bought to help keep me on track? Well, I told my hubby that I was going to weigh my leftovers when we got home so I could see how much food there was left over. So when we got home I put this thing on the food scale and there was 2 POUNDS OF FOOD! After what I ate at the restaurant.

Before being banded, I would have ate all that. Without batting an eye. And probably still would have wanted more. No wonder I'm so fat. Wow, what a day, what a moment. Another good thing to come out of this was that since pancakes don't reheat very well, I gave them to my dog when I got home. Now my beagle thinks I'm God.

Recipe: Salmon Burgers

I just had this for dinner and thought I would share the recipe.

Salmon Burgers:
1 14.5 oz can Chicken of the Sea salmon
1 tablespoon dehydrated onion
1 tablespoon parsley
2 teaspoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons mayonaise (I use Miricle Whip Free)
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup bread crumbs (optional)

Spoon salmon mixture into patties on sprayed baking sheet; bake for 20 minutes at 375.

You can also fry them, I didn't, I like baked fish better. I also didn't use the bread crumbs. Mine made four medium sized patties.

Family Reunion Today

Today was the annual family reunion for my dad's side of the family. We all get together on the last Sunday in June every year. Talk about the past, eat lots of food (except this year), and have a grand 'ol time. It's always a good chance to see family members I don't get to spend a lot of time with. This years crowd was pretty small. Dwindled down to just us "immediates" actually. I remember when I was kid it was HUGE! Tons of us. Sadly we've lost a few due to old age, putting that aside it was still a smaller crowd this year.

My mom told some people about the surgery and she said they were pretty receptive. I wasn't planning on telling anyone outside of my immediate family. To heck if people aren't positive about it though. This isn't their life, it's mine. One of my cousins said it was awesome that I'm doing it and she thinks it would be great for me. That was encouraging.

You can't hide when you're four wide!

Anyone who understands racing or has heard of/been to a World of Outlaws race knows what my subject means. For those of you who aren't race fans (which is OK, racing isn't everyones cup of tea). The World of Outlaws is a dirt track phenomenon. Here's how they work........take a car that has 800 horsepower, weighing 1300 pounds (with the driver in it and full of fuel), add a 1/2 to 1 mile dirt track and about 130 miles of speed and lots of left turns. Season to taste. ;)

So that's where I spent my evening last night. With two of my favorite gentlemen, my daddy and my brother. There was so much dirt flying that my skin felt gritty when the race was over. That's a good night at the races right there.

On the banding front, still holding steady at 20 pounds lost. Still on the mushies at this point. Feeling restriction with some things and not with others. I called the doctors office about it, thinking I wasn't eating the right things, and they said things that have more fiber in them is going to feel more striction. Seems to make sense to me.

20 Pounds Down

Went to my two week check up yesterday and found out I've lost 20 pounds. Part of it was from the pre op diet, but 20 pounds is 20 pounds.

I was so excited. My mom has lost 16 pounds. So we're neck and neck, a little healthy competition never hurt anyone right?

Lots and lots of driving yesterday. The docs office is three hours away from my house, so I drove to Kansas City to pick up my mom, then drove to the doctors office. Then back to Kansas City to drop off my mom, then home.

While I was at the doctors office they checked my incisions, found my port. Asked the doctor where it was cuz I was curious. Then they set me up with next months fill appointment. Released me to go back to work and cleared me for exercise. Also got an excuse from the doc that says I can wear sweat pants to work. My saving grace. We're normally not allowed. The highlight though is that I'm down 20 pounds.

Had my first mushies last night. Pureed refried beans. And this morning is was grits for breakfast. Felt some restriction with the beans, but not a lot with the grits. Different consistencies and fiber contents make for different restriction.

One Week Out Today

One week ago today I was banded. As a matter of fact, I was getting up to my room about right now. Went to the grocery store today and got all my stuff for my week two diet. The only thing I forgot was the baby food. Oh well. Stocked up on apple sauce, cottage cheese, and some stuff to make a few pureed things.

Now I just have to decide what to eat tonight since this is the first day of my second week. CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES! Also bought a food scale. Trying to avoid over eating and what the portion size actually looks like before I try eyeballing it.

Still quite amazed and embarrassed about how much my life revolved around food before. Here's a perfect example. I got my hubby's dinner while I was out and he wanted two hungry man dinners. Before surgery I would have gotten the same. And eaten both of them. In one sitting. Never have I claimed to be a wilting flower, anything a man can do I can do better.

Discovering Food Websites

Today has been an interesting day. I'm four days post op and the gas pains have finally started to subside a little bit. Still hurts like the dickens to get the hiccups though.

On the upside.........wait for it..........FIREWORKS SEASON IS UPON US, THE STORES OPENED UP TODAY!!! The Fourth of July and Halloween are big events in my house.

My family reunion is next weekend (the 28th) and I can't wait to go there skinnier than I was last year. And next year I'll actually be able to swim.......maybe. Haven't been seen in a swimsuit since high school. You know, back before it looked like I was trying to shove ten pounds of crap in a three pound can. Gross, and embarrassing.

Most of my day has consisted of looking at foods I can't eat yet. I know, I know, DUH! However, what I'm going to do is make a book of all the recepies that I like and give them to my hubby to see if he'll make them for me. I might even try my hand at making a few of them myself. We'll see how that goes. I say that because I'm not a cook my any stretch of anyones imagination. I have literally burnt water before. And, when I do try to make something, my hubby looks at me like I'm going to run over a litter of puppies with a tank.

Hope this finds everyone well and enjoying bandster life.

I'm a Bandster!

Well, it's official! Out of surgery and doing great! In a little bit of pain and I have some gas pains in my shoulder, which is all totally normal. Getting ready to "eat" dinner. Sugar free jello, and grape juice. I really do feel great! The doctor just left and said I was a superstar! Sitting up in bed talking on my laptop, he had to remind me that I just got out of surgery a few hours ago.

"Weigting" Again

OK, so here we are at the hospital.......again. I have heard the doc made it today and there are patients going into the surgery prep area and not coming right back out. Excellent sign.

Today is my day. My Bandster Birthday, I'm so excited. I can't wait to go to sleep and wake up banded. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Minor Setback

Well, remember my last post? I guess I'll be waiting longer than I thought. The doctor got stranded because they closed the highway due to the rain. I'm absolutely devastated. I have no idea what I'm going to do. The hospital reschedule my surgery for tomorrow, but it's supposed to rain then too.

Playing the "Weighting" Game

Sitting in the waiting room ready to go in for surgery. It's scheduled for 11:00. My mom goes in at 10:00.

On the drive up here it was POURING DOWN RAIN! Driving in the rain makes me really nervous. I've been a few wrecks involving really bad snow and rain. So it normally doesn't bode well for me to drive in it. I would have had the hubby drive, but he didn't know where we were going. Interesting morning already to say the least.

So we made it to the hospital in once piece, and now I'm waiting. They said to be here at 8:00 and it's almost 8:30 now. My only complaint right now is that I'm really thirsty.

The next time I talk to everyone I'll be a bandster! Thank you so much for all the support I've been given on this site over the last few weeks. You guys really are my bandster family.

Getting Banded Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is the day. I absolutely can't wait. The suspense is killing me.

So today I have to get all of my stuff together. I was trying to clean my house before I had to leave so I wouldn't come home to a messy house, but that didn't go near as well as planned. Oh well.

It's strange the difference I see in myself. Physically and psychologically. I've noticed how much life revolved around food before. I'm the one in my house that pays the bills and runs all the errands. I never realized how much that meant getting something to eat while I was out doing those things. All the time. It's actually kind of embarrassing.

So, as I sit here, 24 hours away from surgery.....I'm ready. To not be fat anymore, to get healthy so I can have a baby, for my back not to hurt anymore so maybe I won't have to have another surgery anytime soon. Most of all, to be happy about what I see in the mirror every day.

Wish me luck, I'll keep you all posted.

2 More Days

Two more days to go. Then the liquids won't be so bad cuz I won't be hungry. It's getting to the point that I can't do these protein shakes anymore.

Went to the area Relay for Life cancer walk last night, we go every year. My husband and I have both lost loved ones to cancer, we figure it's the least we could do. This year was pretty rough for a couple of reasons. We lost our team captain to cancer this year in April, that was the hardest part.

On a lighter note, the guy at the camp beside was grilling steak, and we were four camps away from the funnel cake booth. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Everyone was walking by the funnel cakes, and eating steak around me. This is the first year that's ever happened. The year that I can't eat there's steak. SERIOUSLY! :) I didn't cheat though. Mind over matter. The surgery matters more, so I didn't mind. I did threaten to lick the powdered sugar off of my husbands funnel cake though.

Tomorrow I make my way to Kansas City for the first leg of my trip, then I'm off to Columbia Monday morning for surgery.

3 More Days

Three more days till I get banded. I absolutely can't wait! I'm doing the best I can to stay busy, but nothing seems to be working.

The liquid diet is getting pretty old. At least after surgery I won't be as hungry and have to choke down a protein shake every time I want to "eat" something. Any new and creative ways to make them are always welcome. I'm always open to suggestions.

Hopefully I'll remember to take my laptop to the hospital and keep everyone updated. If not, I'll let you know what's going on as soon as I get home.

Nutrition Class and Pre Op Today

Went to the doctors office for all of my nutrition and pre op classes today. That was fun and will actually save me time on Monday (surgery day) so all I have to do is check in.

My last day at work was Wednesday, so I'm officially on vacation until after surgery. Planning to be cleared to go back to work on the 26th. Not near as excited for that as I am to get the surgery. But, how many of us really are?

I'm so excited I almost can't stand it! I bet I don't sleep a wink between now and Monday.

6 More Days

I'm six days away from being banded. I absolutely can't wait. My surgery date is the 15th. That's my new birthday. The first day of the rest of my life.

I've been on the liquid diet now since the 1st and I've found a lot of new and creative way to make the shakes. A little tip: if you add ice you can trick yourself into thinking it's a shake.

Good luck to anyone that reads this that's preparing to get banded. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I'd love to hear from you and be friends.

Again, I wish you all luck and hope you have a great day.